A Mother’s Love
“Lo, children are a heritage of the LORD: and the fruit of the womb is His reward.” (Psalms 127:3)
“Stop your crying and wipe away your tears. All that you have done for your children will not go unrewarded. They will return from the enemy’s land. There is hope for your future. Your children will come back home. I, the Lord, have spoken.” (Jeremiah 31:16-17)
My 12 year old says he knows I love him because he just does. In this context, I have learned that a mother’s love is different than a spouse’s love, or a sibling’s love. Indeed, it is even different from a father’s love. Mothers love their kids with every ounce of affection for different reasons. Why? Because primarily, as mothers, we carried these children in our bodies, and invariably loved them even before we ever heard that first heartbeat in a doctor’s office.
Certainly, experiencing this little human inside of me (even as I spent weeks in the bathroom with morning sickness) was changing me. When the doctor confirmed the news — ‘you’re pregnant’ — I can tell you each detail of that day … each thought … the simultaneous shock and the surprise of that day … what I had for breakfast….just about every detail of that day when I found out for sure that I was going to become a mom.
Admittedly, my own experience differs from the posts on Facebook that suggest we believe in “love at first sight” because we fall in love as soon as we see our child. Personally, I don’t think we need to meet someone to fall in love. I think that most moms are in love with their baby even before they meet them. Because let’s be honest — labour and delivery SUCKS and no one willingly goes through all the pain and torture of labour without first being in love
Now there are exceptions. Some women might not be in love with the baby that is taking shape inside them. Perhaps, because of circumstance, they have decided to give the baby up to another family. To me, that is a wonderful manifestation of love –probably the most unselfish expression of love possible. Of course, the parents getting that particular baby will fall in love with the baby at first sight, but I think they are in love the moment they find out they are chosen to be parents. Some might need to see that baby for those feelings of love to emerge … but I still think that baby is loved before it’s born. The actual birth just makes the love more real, exposing our own feelings and emotions about love
Those little humans we carried in our womb — the ones that carry our hearts with them EVERY single moment of every single day –they know how we feel, and at times, they use it to their advantage so they can manipulate us to do their will. They know how to make us laugh, melt, scream and cry. For fun, I asked my friends to ask their kids how they knew mommy loved them. I’m sure their kids looked at them (much like my son looked at me — like I was crazy lol)…but I got some great answers
The most common response I received back is this — because Mom you tell me so. But there were others Because Mom … you take care of me. You feed me. I just know. You yell at me and you wouldn’t yell at me if you didn’t care. You give me soft tickles on my back every night before bedtime. You’re not very cranky with me. You are nice to me but only when I’m nice to you.
Because….you feed me, you think I’m cuddly, you pack my lunch and do everything for us without asking. You tell me you will always love me no matter what. I’m momma’s baby, you take me for special
treats. Because I was the cutest baby and you are my mommy, I love you and you love me. I’m your baby boy. You play the wii and cuddle with me. You go to work and I love you too.
Because (haha) my dad would kill you if you didn’t love me. I am your daughter and you don’t have any choice but to love me. You do nice things for me. You buy me treats at the store. It’s funny how this mixture of kids (aged 2-15) just know from the simple things we do as “mothers” that we love them. Unlike the messaging we are often told, it’s not buying our children expensive toys, or spending a fortune on crazy trips. Rather, it’s about being there day in and day out, loving them, and taking good care of them to the best of our ability. That is all our kids need from us. Every other thing — so to speak — is icing on the cake
For me, being a mom is the greatest thing I have accomplished in life. My child knows that he is loved — unconditionally, without restriction, and without anything to prove. It also means that I am doing my job well. But admittedly, my son is 12 … a preteen. I am sure the next 5 or 6 years will be a learning curve for both of us, but in spite of what might be future struggles, I know that I will love him even on days when he makes me crazy.
Why? Because no matter how old he gets, I’ll always remember the curve of his bum as he grew under my heart … and, similarly, inside my heart ❤