No Place for Negativity
But this I call to mind, and therefore I have hope — The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases. His mercies never come to an end. They are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness. “The LORD is my portion,” says my soul, “therefore I will hope in Him.” (Lamentations 3:21-24)
As we approach the three week mark, I’m silently worried. What if they say no? What if they say yes? I’m waiting for that phone call, the one that sets up one last meeting to find out if we are going to be approved to go forward with adoption. It seems like the process has gone on for years already. It hasn’t, but it sure feels that way.
We don’t talk about it at home. It’s almost like not saying any words will make adopting a child come to fruition. My big fear is that if I talk about it, the adoption just won’t happen. Or, maybe, speaking will cause me to worry more. I have had so many negative people put doubts into my head. They tell me we are too old and will never be approved. Even worse, that in the adoption people’s minds, we just wouldn’t make good adoptive parents. I’ve heard horror stories about kids who are horrible. Kids in the adoption system who have a zillion things wrong with them. I’ve even had people tell me that I’m crazy for even thinking about it. All the negative comments can lead to negative thoughts and these negatives can take over one’s thinking.
But I’m not letting the negative win. God has a plan for my life and I’m going with it. When I was very young and in grade 4, I remember reading “Wednesday’s Child” in the newspaper. The article was about a little girl who desperately needed a family. At that moment, I knew in my heart that I would adopt a child. I have faith that the thought placed in my young heart then and carried forward for my entire life is God’s plan. Of course, I know any child we adopt will be scared in the beginning and probably won’t trust us (coming from a place where love didn’t flow freely) but I can love! And more importantly, I can show love and be patient until this same child feels confident enough to love me back.
So, until I get that anticipated phone call, I’m going to not talk about it. Instead, I’m going to continue to trust that God’s plan for my life is in progress. I’m not going to let the negativity get in the way of my heart — the heart I was given by Him who knows me best.