The What If Questions

The What If Questions

 “For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

Sometimes I wonder about the choices I’ve made — the “what ifs” that like to play over and over again in my mind. The problem is that once a “what if” emerges, it never wants to move on. Indeed, the questions linger on and on. For example, I think back to high school. Why high school? Because that is where most of us make choices that inherently change our lives going forward.

Here are some of my what ifs. What if I had stuck to my dream of being a social worker? And put that dream ahead of what my parents wanted me to do, or what my friends were doing??? Upon reflection, had I gone that route I would never have ended up with the life I have now. Maybe I would have done what many seventeen or eighteen years old have done. That is, quit university or change my mind about undergraduate studies — because very few people actually stay their original course.

And then there is the accounting program through distance learning that I began after graduating from high school. What if I hadn’t let a boy distract me from actually trying to do well???  Would I have finished the program with awesome grades. Would an accounting designation have given me a really awesome job … a professional career that would take me to awesome places?? > And then, there is my first hairdressing vocation. What if I had stuck to cutting hair in one shop?? About two years into my first real job as a hairdresser, all my coworkers left to work in a better place. What would have happened if I had stayed put and helped my manager rebuild the business? Maybe I would have not hated cutting people’s hair as quickly as I did?!? But then I would have not met some of the best friends ever, and ultimately, I wouldn’t have had my wonderful son.

Moreover, what about the day I agreed to work an evening on my day off, so that my friend could celebrate her birthday with her family??? Lol, this one event changed my life in more ways than one. If I had said no, I wouldn’t have done that one haircut that changed the course of my life forever. If I had not done that haircut, my friends would never know that I yearned for something )more. Of course, not doing that haircut wouldn’t mean that I’d not have had Keagan, but it might have meant I wouldn’t have the same fun child that I have today. > And then., what if I hadn’t moved to Charlottetown when I did? Or, called off my wedding, nine days before it was supposed to happen? What then?!?! I could have ended up  a very unhappy wife, raising a boy whose life would be drastically different. His outlook on life a little less optimistic than the one he has now.

As I ponder these thoughts, and more, the bigger question is this. What if I hadn’t chosen Jesus to be my Lord and Saviour?  Every time I made a choice in my life, it led me down a path that took me to where I am today. Sometimes the decisions I made were the right ones and sometimes the path I pursued was wrong. But regardless, in every path I ventured down, I can honestly say that Jesus lit the way. He gave me the fulfilled life that I live everyday. He gives me peace and joy that makes living life so worthwhile.   Yes, I still have many what ifs to contend with — particularly about my future — but I know that no matter what choice I make, He will be there every step of the way.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you a future and a hope.” (Jeremiah 29:11)

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