Worship and Waiting

“But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness,, temperance, against such there is no law.” (Galatians 5:22)

Last night my church hosted a ‘worship and waiting’ evening.  It is an evening where the worship team plays songs for two hours without any preaching.  They open in prayer and then they just allow the Holy Spirit to work amongst the congregation over the next two hours.

After a week of not being able to attend church or Bible study because the flu literally took over our household, I NEEDED this night.  I craved every second in my weary soul. In fact, I didn’t care whether I was going to have to walk to church because our car would not start. I was going.

For me, it had been a long week with little sleep and endless laundry.  There wasn’t a day that somebody wasn’t sick. Just when I thought the flu was gone, my children got it all over again.  My relief was supposed to be Friday — the day my husband was going to be home all day.  I thought then I could get some rest. By the time Friday came my hubby as well was too sick to even move.

That same day the temperature was -40 degrees.  When it is that cold, my car does not start. So even though I had kids healthy enough to go out of the house and burn off the excess energy that comes with five days inside, I was stuck at home.  By Saturday morning, I was completely done in. My patience was dwindling, my house was a disaster and my kids were BEYOND wound.

So it was no wonder that the tears started flowing as soon as I felt the peace and comfort of my church sanctuary.  My church is very welcoming and from the first time I stepped through the doors, I have felt a blanket of safety there.  I am the person who doesn’t react first.  If something is hard, I plough through it.  I do not break down. I definitely do not cry.  Family actually teases me about this.  The side that doesn’t always get seen is when I finish the task or when I come through that difficult place, I let loose.

The frustration, sadness, anger, disappointment, or whatever emotion went along with my burden is released in a bundle of tears.  By the time I was done crying last night, the Kleenex box was running low.

Still, while the Kleenex box was low, my spirit was being filled.  With every tear that fell, God filled me up with His joy.  With every tear of frustration, He gave my soul peace. Any anger was replaced with love, and my impatience, Jesus filled with patience.  He restored my heart so that I could honour Him.

In the end, I wasn’t totally broken last night. I wasn’t even completely at the end of my rope, although I know God could have healed me if I was there too. But I do know that spiritually, I was on empty.  When I walked out, I knew I was complete.  Overflowing with all the fruits of the spirit; love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control.

I encourage you, if you feel that your soul is empty to find a way to restore it.  For me, this comes with worship. If your church does not have a ‘worship and waiting’ night, then listen to worship music in your own home while allowing yourself to be embraced from His presence.

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