My son just turned 15! With that moment came an abundance of emotions. Feelings that I’ve struggled with inside, plus the emotions associated with finding the right words to express my thoughts here. First, let me say that I’m sad that my son is growing up so fast. Conversely, I’m happy that he is such a good kid. Most of all, I’m proud that he has been able to accomplish all the things that he has. I’m blessed because as much as he makes me crazy some days, I know that he is going to be a good and decent person.
But I also know deep in my heart that this is the last year he is going to NEED me. This is the hardest part of it all. This is the last year he will need me to take him places. The hours we have spent driving from one place or another — have been countless. Those hours have been spent talking, laughing, bonding, arguing, and although all totalled those hours are time consuming, they have been ‘our’ time. The time we have spent in conversation, discussing the many things that have become important in his world.
Just next month, he will graduate grade 9. He is already planning his date for his grade 9 semi formal. The tickets, the tie that will match her dress, whether he should get black dress pants or wear his current dress pants, how he is going to get there and home again, and even whether or not he will have fun. All these plans are in process and he hasn’t needed my help. This summer will be his last one helping me at home. Next summer, he will get his own job. One that allows him to be away from home a good majority of the time. A job where he will start to save money for his own car, university, dates, and everything else a teenager needs in this day and age. I will miss our summers together, the days of watching him forget that he is supposed to be ‘cool’ and just being silly.
Next, he will begin high school. That in itself is scary … lol! Instead of planning for high school, now he will pick and plan his courses based on what he wants to do in a few short years. High school is the beginning of the end of his childhood. In my mind, it’s the start of his adulthood and honestly, I’m not even a tiny bit ready for that. Despite him almost being old enough to not need me,I know in my heart that he will always need me. I’m his mom. Because of the many conversations that we have had over the years. And for that opportunity, I’m forever grateful that I was given him to love and take care of ❤
“And all thy children shall be taught of the LORD; and great shall be the peace of thy children.” (Isaiah 54:13)