Seeking the kingdom

“Seek ye first the kingdom of God, and His righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you!”  (Matt 6:33)

I keep thinking about this verse. In fact, every single day, and perhaps, even three or four times a day. Seek ye first the kingdom of God. This verse has been placed in my heart and I know why. It’s there because I’m struggling to put God first.  My life is chaos. My finances suck. My job is insanely busy. My son’s schedule is sucking all my free time away. My husbands job is either too busy or not. And I’m exhausted.

I feel like the “me” I’m supposed to be has been or is lost in this journey called life. Please don’t misunderstand. Yes, I’m still happy. I still love my husband, my growing up too fast kid, my job, and even myself. But admittedly too, I’m missing something. And I am not alone. At this point, others might suggest — “It’s just out of your reach. Get up on your tippy toes and then you might be able to grasp and take hold of the thing that you are looking for.”
But for me, it’s just too windy and I can’t get a good hold of what I need.  Perhaps, (and unlike the wisdom of this world) the problem is that I need to get off my tippy toes and get on my knees. I need to find time for silence. I need to find time to just listen. Time to shut my brain off. I need to find my relationship with Jesus, to seek Him first so that all these things — the Kingdom of God can be added unto me.  His promise in my life so that in all these things I can be more than a conqueror through Him that loved us.

Certainly, from past experience, I know that I’m at my strongest when I’m seeking Jesus in prayer, when I’m reading my Bible, when I put aside time to just be still … and right now, I’m not at my weakest but maybe I need to be weak in order to put me aside enough to let Jesus work.
John the baptist said, “I must decrease so that He can increase.” He was referring to Jesus here, and yet, John could have held onto the fame he was getting when the people came out to see him baptizing in the river Jordan. But that would not have fulfilled God’s plan of salvation, and John knew this, taking a step back from the spotlight so that the Lamb of God could be proclaimed.

So, with this in mind, this is my project too for the next few weeks. To get back that part of my life that is too often missing. To let Jesus calm my storm. To let Jesus fill me with His presence and strength. To seek Jesus first in everything I do. Because only then, through faith in His goodness and grace and mercy and love, will I know that everything else also will fall into its rightful place.

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