No Caller ID

No Caller ID. That’s what my phone said when it rang yesterday. I was driving, I forgot to turn on my Bluetooth. I was trying to not panic, I was on a tight side street with no place to pull over. I didn’t want to let my hubby answer. I wanted the person answering to be me. So I answered on speaker phone and waited to hear those words. Instead, I heard a sweet voice say ‘hi, can I speak to Allie’.

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Birthday Eve

When I was 29, I had the best year ever. In fact, one would say that I was happy with everything in my life. I had most of what any single mom could ever ask for. Then I turned 30, and everything went downhill. For me, it was a tough year, one that culminated in many tears and heartache. But now, looking back, that year taught me more about myself than any year prior. So, on the last day of being 30, I wiped away my tears, put on my happy face, thanked God for all the good and bad, and celebrated with my friends. I promised myself I’d never cry again. Haha … but that promise was very short lived.


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‘Twas the night before Christmas and all through the house not a creature was stirring not even a mouse — except in my house. Cause in my house the mice were stirring, and eating, and working overtime to destroy my pantry. You see, I have an extra pantry. This is the place where I keep my extra lunch treats and backup food supplies, and yes, I’m in this pantry daily. At least that was the situation up until just before Christmas break. I  had gone looking for brownie mix in this pantry, hoping to finish my Christmas baking .

Points Cards

Everyone has points cards. For some of us, we are faithful collectors and others it’s just a ‘whatever’ thing. For example, I used to be an avid air miles collector, but I never seemed to be able to collect enough of them to buy anything. So when they decide to put an expiry date on them, I decided to use mine up.  So, being the girly girl I am, I ordered something that would make doing my hair ‘easier’. All I had to do was pick up a section of hair and let the curler grab it and I’d have a head full of beautiful curls in no time. I make my hair curly normally — at least four out of seven days a week — so I thought something to do all the work was awesome. I anxiously awaited its delivery.

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When love broke through

I grew up believing in God. From being a small child until today, I’ve never not believed. I knew who Jesus was, I knew he died for me, I knew that his love was unconditional. I was 12 when I was baptized.  My favourite music has always been Christian music. I’ve never been afraid to talk about my faith. I’ve made a TON of mistakes….every day I feel like I have done something wrong, lol….but I just keep trying to keep my life and heart and faith on the right track.

But as crazy as it sounds….I wish I had that moment that other people have. The moment where you realize the awesomeness that is Jesus and everything he did for us.
One day I was baking cookies and a song came on the tv….
When love broke thru
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin’ thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I’m hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
(Toby Mac….Love Broke Thru)
I had to stop and see who sang this song….and just listen to it. The words made me want a story to tell….the story of the day Jesus broke through. The moment when Jesus took all the baggage away and just gave me him. But I didn’t have a story….or did I???
It took listening to the song a few times. It took reading the words. It took a lot of thinking and searching…..maybe I didn’t have a BIG moment. Instead I have a lifetime of moments.
Jesus was holding my hand the day I drove home from the wake of my old boyfriend who committed suicide….I drove home in a fog of tears with the sun setting on one side of the road and a lightening storm on the other….the weather a full on reflection of every emotion I was feeling but I knew Jesus was right there with me, his love breaking through.
The day I found out I was pregnant….the day I was blessed with the most precious gift Jesus could give me. The day he was born and Jesus trusted me with this amazing gift. The day I realized that gift would most likely be the only one that shared my DNA. Every step of the way….Jesus’s love has broke through.
The day I met my husband….the first time he kissed me….our first date….buying our first home….our wedding day. All of those moments were there because Jesus loved me….because the path I was on was leading me away from his love…he broke through and brought me closer.
So many moments….big and small….when I look on them, I realize that I might not have had a big wake up call. Instead I’ve spent every day of my life knowing him and knowing his love…..and when I needed him the most, Jesus was right there by my side….and that’s so much better then a big moment:)
Joshua 1:9 – Have not I commanded thee? Be strong and of a good courage; be not afraid, neither be thou dismayed: for the LORD thy God [is] with thee whithersoever thou goest.

From the mouths of babes!

On November 19, 2015 my cat Calico had kittens. Three babies in total. One was grey, one was a black tortoise shell and the third was a grey and black striped kitten. Then on June 19, 2016, more kittens arrived. Three more kittens but this batch had an orange and white kitten, another black tortoise shell and a black and white kitten. THEN on October 11 of this year, she had another litter of EIGHT kittens!

Out of each of these litters of kittens, one of my daycare kids has fallen in love. From the first batch, this little one wanted to keep the black and grey striped kitten. From the second batch, he wanted the black and white kitten. In this last batch of babies, he picked the one that combined both. This baby is black and grey striped with a white nose, white belly and white feet. He named her Sammy. Every day he comes over and tells her that he loves her. And, later, when he goes home, he says bye to Sammy. His dad totally wants to take Sammy home….lol! The roadblock herein is mom.
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Waiting for His plan

So I watched this video last night. It was relatively short and called ‘Christmas meets the grim reaper.’ I laughed and laughed throughout. This morning, I was still giggling about it. But then I watched the clip again (mostly to see if it was that funny or, if I was just way more tired than I thought) and yep, it was still funny.  Still, the second watch gave me something to think about … and this is the point I am trying to make.
The video is set to Christmas music. It shows a typical Christmas scene with Santa and his reindeer flying his sled into the big full moon.  Then, it shows the grim reaper standing on a snowy snow bank. The grim reaper gets a small pumpkin and sets it on a tree stump. With the hook in his scythe curls (to look like a hockey stick or a golf club), he swings and the pumpkin flies through the air to perfectly knock the biggest gift off of Santa’s sleigh. He is on the ground dancing and celebrating his perfect hit and that huge gift coming his way. And then … BAM!!! The gift squishes him into the snow (he is presumably dead;)) and out pops a huge gold bar shaped anvil. Needless to say, it is here that it ends.

Be nice

So I just told one of my daycare kids “if you aren’t nice to people, they won’t want to be your friend”. Then I realized that I was in fact telling a lie … because it doesn’t matter how nice you are, if someone is really your friend they won’t care if you are sometimes not so nice. In fact, we live in a world where being nice usually results in being the friend that everyone calls or, conversely, the forgotten friend. In other words, being nice does not always result in the outcome that one would hope for.

I know because I’ve always been the “nice” friend. But lately, I’ve been noticing that so many of my ‘friends’ aren’t actually friends. Some of them are just people who for one reason or another cross over in some way into my world. You know the types of friends I mean. The ones on social media, in my contact list on my phone, or even, sometimes, the ones I might hear from through the occasional text message.

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Choosing hope

I got the phone call. I was hoping it was “THE” phone call I have been waiting for. I’ve never been through this process before. It has now been over a year since everything was finalized. So, I had hope. My adoption worker wanted to meet with us, along with another social worker. I was praying this was going to be the moment I had waited years for. But before I get your hopes up, it wasn’t.

I knew going in that the adoption process was long. It would take years, they said, but I’m not sure I was prepared for what this process really looks like, when it begins to unfold. Lots of meetings. Lots of scheduled meetings. Lots of unknowns. For those who don’t know, we started this journey when my son was still a young child. Continue reading

Let your happiness be unlimited

September 11….December 25…..January 1….November 11. Without searching any of these dates, we know exactly what these stand for. Dates are funny like that. Certain calendar dates stick out — never to be forgotten. Others though, depending on one’s age, just can’t be remembered, regardless of how hard we try. For me, and yes sadly, I couldn’t tell you what date either World War I or II ended. Or, what day John F. Kennedy was shot. Or, when the Challenger made its last journey into space. Or, when Waco happened. Or, for that matter, when Elvis Presley died. I have no clue. I know that three of these events happened before I was born. One occurred when I was a baby, and two are moments etched in my brain as images never to be forgotten.  Continue reading