No Caller ID. That’s what my phone said when it rang yesterday. I was driving, I forgot to turn on my Bluetooth. I was trying to not panic, I was on a tight side street with no place to pull over. I didn’t want to let my hubby answer. I wanted the person answering to be me. So I answered on speaker phone and waited to hear those words. Instead, I heard a sweet voice say ‘hi, can I speak to Allie’.
When I was 29, I had the best year ever. In fact, one would say that I was happy with everything in my life. I had most of what any single mom could ever ask for. Then I turned 30, and everything went downhill. For me, it was a tough year, one that culminated in many tears and heartache. But now, looking back, that year taught me more about myself than any year prior. So, on the last day of being 30, I wiped away my tears, put on my happy face, thanked God for all the good and bad, and celebrated with my friends. I promised myself I’d never cry again. Haha … but that promise was very short lived.
Everyone has points cards. For some of us, we are faithful collectors and others it’s just a ‘whatever’ thing. For example, I used to be an avid air miles collector, but I never seemed to be able to collect enough of them to buy anything. So when they decide to put an expiry date on them, I decided to use mine up. So, being the girly girl I am, I ordered something that would make doing my hair ‘easier’. All I had to do was pick up a section of hair and let the curler grab it and I’d have a head full of beautiful curls in no time. I make my hair curly normally — at least four out of seven days a week — so I thought something to do all the work was awesome. I anxiously awaited its delivery.
I grew up believing in God. From being a small child until today, I’ve never not believed. I knew who Jesus was, I knew he died for me, I knew that his love was unconditional. I was 12 when I was baptized. My favourite music has always been Christian music. I’ve never been afraid to talk about my faith. I’ve made a TON of mistakes….every day I feel like I have done something wrong, lol….but I just keep trying to keep my life and heart and faith on the right track.
You found me in the darkness
Wanderin’ thru the desert
I was a hopeless fool
Now I’m hopelessly devoted
My chains are broken
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
And it all began with You
When love broke thru
Out of each of these litters of kittens, one of my daycare kids has fallen in love. From the first batch, this little one wanted to keep the black and grey striped kitten. From the second batch, he wanted the black and white kitten. In this last batch of babies, he picked the one that combined both. This baby is black and grey striped with a white nose, white belly and white feet. He named her Sammy. Every day he comes over and tells her that he loves her. And, later, when he goes home, he says bye to Sammy. His dad totally wants to take Sammy home….lol! The roadblock herein is mom.
So I just told one of my daycare kids “if you aren’t nice to people, they won’t want to be your friend”. Then I realized that I was in fact telling a lie … because it doesn’t matter how nice you are, if someone is really your friend they won’t care if you are sometimes not so nice. In fact, we live in a world where being nice usually results in being the friend that everyone calls or, conversely, the forgotten friend. In other words, being nice does not always result in the outcome that one would hope for.
I got the phone call. I was hoping it was “THE” phone call I have been waiting for. I’ve never been through this process before. It has now been over a year since everything was finalized. So, I had hope. My adoption worker wanted to meet with us, along with another social worker. I was praying this was going to be the moment I had waited years for. But before I get your hopes up, it wasn’t.
September 11….December 25…..January 1….November 11. Without searching any of these dates, we know exactly what these stand for. Dates are funny like that. Certain calendar dates stick out — never to be forgotten. Others though, depending on one’s age, just can’t be remembered, regardless of how hard we try. For me, and yes sadly, I couldn’t tell you what date either World War I or II ended. Or, what day John F. Kennedy was shot. Or, when the Challenger made its last journey into space. Or, when Waco happened. Or, for that matter, when Elvis Presley died. I have no clue. I know that three of these events happened before I was born. One occurred when I was a baby, and two are moments etched in my brain as images never to be forgotten. Continue reading